I Pick You Read online

  Rydell did that thing with the duck lips where her eyes looked up and she thought about a comeback. Nothing. Not even a snort. She walked away and slammed the door between us and I laughed.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The night with Bay was much the same. We had a couple altercations, but nothing I couldn’t handle. The Bay Bible told me what to do about the nonexistent boo-boo she got when she fell on the pool steps. I learned pretty quickly that Band-Aids fixed most everything, including dried ketchup.

  An hour long rain left the evening weather nice and cool, for Florida anyway. Seventy-seven was way better than ninety-seven. Bay and I ate a not so healthy pizza out by the pool. I was beat. I decided my first day of school awarded me a relaxing evening with no more responsible choices. Pizza and a six pack of beer. That was what I needed and Bay didn’t seem to mind at all. Although the little shit stole every one of my pepperoni. She sort of asked. I think. It sounded more like she said echo friendly when she pointed at every piece and then swiped it up without my permission. Of course, I let her have it. She was too cute not to.

  I watched Joy again after her bath, and then sang to her when I asked her if she was ready for bed. She went right to my guitar and climbed in my bed, and I let her.

  “Hush little Bay Berry don’t you fear, Daddy’s gonna sing you to sleep then drink a few beers.”

  I had to sing made up verses five times before her eyes finally closed, and then I carried her to her bed, lifeless, dead to the world. I swear I could have placed her in the middle of Nashville on a Saturday night and she wouldn’t have woken up. Covering her little body with the stupid blue haired girl who I despised, I kissed her fine hair, unable to hide the enormous love I felt for her.

  “I love you, Bay Berry Jandt, and this one is from Mommy. She loves you, too,” I whispered with one more kiss from Kit. Not because I didn’t think it was stupid, I did, but I made a promise and I was a man of my word. As dumb as it was, I kissed her twice. Once from me, and once from her mommy.

  After I showered myself, I walked back outside, baby walkie-talkie and guitar in hand. I took a deep breath reflecting on my first day as a second grade teacher and my first day alone with Bay. Opening another beer, promising to make it my last, I turned my phone to some good old George Jones and got lost in a world I no longer lived in. My good old buddy George and I sang three songs together before Kenny Roger’s came on. I’d sang that song with Kenny a thousand times and the words never meant a damn thing until that night. Never in a million years did I think love would turn me around, slow me down, and want to care about something as much as I did Bay. Everyone always said it would be a female that finally brought me to my knees, I just didn’t think it would be a little person. God, I loved her.

  My eyes shifted to the light in the corner of my left eye, an instant urge taking over the guilt I felt for not being there for Bay from the beginning. I knew if I climbed that ladder, it made me just as sick as my cousin, Lane, but the impulse was stronger than me. Maybe they weren’t even having sex. Maybe they were just going to bed. Deciding I’d just take a quick peek, I carried my perverted ass up the ladder for a quick look.

  At first. I looked out over the ocean and then to the empty room. I could see a tablet at the end of the bed, the television playing the news, and then Paxton Pierce. With a quick grimace, I moved my eyes from the binoculars, not wanting to see that. He walked out naked, drying his hair with a towel. The closest thing to a porn I saw was when Gabriella walked into their room and Paxton dropped to his knees. For a brief second, I thought he was about to eat her out, standing right there, but he didn’t. He kissed her belly that was barely even there. How sweet. I was pretty sure they still did it, but I couldn’t see. He was on top and they were both below the covers.

  I dropped the binoculars with a heavy sigh, shaking my head at my perverted self, but quickly got over it. I wasn’t the only guy who would have watched. Gabriella Pierce was gorgeous. Any guy I knew would watch that. Sliding to more of a slump, I slid my basketball shorts down and stroked myself hard, first with Gabriella’s face, then Kit, and then Rydell’s. She was the one I gave it to behind my eyes, a vision of me pumping in and out of her, deep and fast with her legs above her head. She was the one I imagined catching my pleasure all down her chest while my fingers played with her wet sex.

  My tee-shirt was jerked over my head and I used it to clean up, and then got the hell out of there, ready to put the day behind me.

  Every muscle in my body relaxed as I lay with my arms above my head, closing my eyes, and thinking about my first day. I was proud of myself. I did good at school and at home. Except for the morning part. I set my alarm ahead another twenty minutes to ensure that didn’t happen again and I already had my morning planned out. I was sure it would go better than the first. Sleep took over with me going through the steps in my head, scrambled eggs and toast first, wake Bay next, eat with her and be on our way. Easy.

  What a freaking nightmare. Bay wouldn’t wake up for anything. I had to dress her in a comatose state again, let her rest her head on my shoulder while she went potty, and then feed her to get her to eat. She didn’t get this on time thing, and she didn’t understand the wrath of Rydell Brinkley. If I didn’t make it to carpool on time, she might go berserk. No, not might. She would no doubt flip out on me.

  “Bay, come on, baby. We have to go to school. Don’t you want to go play with your new friends? Here, please take a bite.”

  “I iket a latte.”

  “Latte? You want a latte?”

  Bay giggled, pushing her hands and Phil between her knees. Her little nose crinkled and her eyes disappeared. Finally awake, I got her to take two more bites, and then spent ten minutes trying to figure out what the hell she was so determined to get me to understand.

  “Russian.”

  “We’ll get us some Russian’s later. Let’s go. You can take the toast but you can’t tear it into little pieces and don’t put it in your hair.”

  Bay sat on the floor when I tried to hold her hand, demanding I give her a Russian with an ear-piercing scream. “I russian.”

  “There are no Russian’s here, Bay. They’re in Europe. Please don’t do this now,” I begged while scooping her stiff then thrashing body from the floor. She threw herself backward in my arms, uncaring of the chance she took with me dropping her to the floor. “Bay, what do you want?”

  Just like that, she stopped, looked directly into my eyes, and said it again. “I russian.”

  “You want a Russian?”

  “Russian.”

  “Do you know where the Russian is? Can you show daddy where it is?”

  Bay pushed away from me, slid down my body, and went to the pantry door. Her little hand reached for the handle, and I flipped on the light and opened it for her.

  “I Russian,” she repeated with her arms in the air for me to lift her from the floor.

  I picked her up with a heavy sigh, needing to be gone minutes before, praying I could figure it out in seconds. I didn’t have to. Bay reached for the six pack of raisins and I shook my head.

  “Raisins. You want raisins. Aahh, now I got it.”

  Bay glanced at me, and as impossible as it sounds, I swear she gave me a look and rolled her eyes. The same one her mama used on me. My thumb pierced the cellophane and I gave her a little red box, carrying her out. I forgot about the vitamin because of that, and remembered she didn’t brush her teeth when I buckled her in, but I did remember her bag.

  “Phil.”

  “Kid—,” I groaned and darted back inside to find Phil on the floor where he fell during the Russian meltdown.

  Once again, Bay didn’t want me to leave her, and once again, I was late. But…I didn’t care. For the first time in my life, I put someone before anything else. Bay needed reassurance, she needed to feel safe before I left her, and I wasn’t about to leave her in fear of somebody that couldn’t hurt me. Rydell could wait.

  What a chaotic mess. Rydell stood a
t the wrong end, the same place she was the day before. By the time I walked straight out to her, bypassing my class to help her with the crazy traffic, she was good and pissed.

  “Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to be on that end, letting them in instead of out?” I questioned as I passed her, not stopping to hear her complaining excuse. That didn’t stop her.

  She yelled it. “No, it would make more sense for you to be on time. What good would that do? They still have to get out on this end, idiot.”

  Yeah, I pretty much sucked at that job. The only solution to that chaos was a new entrance. There wasn’t enough room to do anything else. I can’t even begin to explain the mess. Nobody listened, everybody was in a hurry, and I wondered how the hell I got chosen for that job. I made a mental note after almost getting run over to have a talk with Mrs. Day. Screw this shit. I’d do lunch or recess. Somebody else could have that mess.

  “You suck at this,” Gabriella Pierce said as she pulled to the sidewalk, speaking to me through the passenger side window.

  “Hey, to you, too,” I said, bending dow to her eye level, catching the holdup on Rydell’s end, “Tori Spelling, hurry up. You’re holding up traffic. Kayla, move it along. Have your things ready to go before your car stops.”

  “Did you really just call her Tori Spelling?” Gabriella asked, not even bothering to hide the laugh. This was the real deal. Tears in the eyes, holding the gut, kind of laugh. “Oh, my God. That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Hey, wait. What do you call my kid?”

  “Nothing yet, but she’s kind of a smart ass.”

  Gabriella laughed again and inched her way forward. “I’ll see you later, Mr. Jandt.”

  “Yeah, I hope your day is as nice as your—shit—have a nice day, Mrs. Pierce,” I said with a smile, stopping myself before I got my entire foot in my mouth.

  “Nice as what?”

  I may have flirted just a bit, but I couldn’t help it. Hot women brought that out of me. Especially ones I could use for my own personal porn. “Forget it. I’m not looking to get my ass kicked by your husband. Get going - you’re holding up my line.”

  “See ya later,” she teased through her own flirty smile and batting eyelashes.

  Finally, Danny DeVito tailed the end of the line, and I already dreaded pick-up, hoping like hell I’d get myself out of it. Somehow.

  Rydell and I walked toward the middle, finally seeing the end. “What’s the C for? You’re down here doing the YMCA while I’m trying to keep the line moving.”

  Rydell tied a shoe and sent a little blond boy on his way. She stood, eyes looking up to mine. It’s a C. C for you to hold up on your end. Learn the code.”

  I frowned, wondering how she got, hold up, out of an arm-made C. “What? That makes no sense.”

  “C, cluster-fuck. When I do that it means I’ve got a jam and you need to hold them on your end until I tell you.”

  We walked toward the courtyard side by side, but not as one. I looked at her like she had lost her mind, knowing she needed a little more help than most people. “Let me explain something to you. There’s this traffic light where the cars are coming in from a main road. You might not have noticed, but it’s virtually impossible to stop traffic from coming in. It’s a street.”

  Rydell walked through the gate in front of me, not bothering to hold the heavy iron for me. “Guess what, genius? There’s a light on my end, too, and just like your side where they’re all trying to get in, they’re trying to get out. Can you please keep it down today?”

  “Can you please keep it down?” I asked as we parted ways, knowing damn well she heard the whiny tone, mimicking hers.

  “Hey, can I tell you something?”

  Boom. First thing in the door.

  I stood off to the side of my door with Harry Potter, nodding and saying good morning to my students as they entered, one by one. “What’s up, dude?”

  “Well, I was curious as to whether or not we would be learning anything about the Amazon River. I watched a documentary on it last night with my family whilst we had had celery sticks dipped in peanut butter. Well, it runs through Columbia, Peru, and Brazil,” he explained while pointing to three upright fingers. “Well, it surrounds the rain forest and they constantly find new species living in it. It’s the second largest river. Do you know what the first largest river is?”

  Criminy, that boy could talk. “Yes, Harry, I do. The Nile. Go take your seat, buddy.”

  “I’m Simon Sir Winston Charles Worthington the third.”

  “Yes, of course you are. Go sit down.”

  I swear it didn’t matter how many times I told the kid he didn’t have to ask to tell me something. He didn’t get it. Every single time. Even when I wasn’t around him. I heard it, like a creepy, haunting voice over my shoulder, an echo from afar, hey, can I tell you something?

  Once again, I made it through my day with few altercations with Rydell. She did call me a dick once in lunch line. I didn’t even do anything that time. Not one word. She just brushed past me and said it.

  My feet stopped moving a few kids behind, and I stood there, dumbfounded with open hands. “What?”

  “Boy, I pegged you wrong. Married? A baby? Wow.”

  I looked over my shoulder to Wendi, dropping my eyes to her level, not bothering to hide the annoyance. “You’re like a flea. Go away.”

  “Dick.”

  My only response was my raised eyebrows. Fuck her. I didn’t have shit to prove. If she thought for one second I gave a shit about her gatekeeper status, she was crazier than I thought she was. I didn’t need her permission to pursue anyone, especially Rydell. Not that she had a plan to give me the time of day or anything, but still. The point was the fact that I didn’t need to explain shit to Wendi. She would have judged anyway. Let her get her facts from Rydell, who didn’t know shit about me either. I didn’t much care.

  Other than that, and the rat-race that started again at three-forty-five, all went well. Oh, and one little talk with Miss Day because Rydell had to go and tattle about the noise. I told her how nice she looked, commented on her perfume, and winked at her as I apologized for the noise. Of course it was okay, and she encouraged me to keep up the good work, reminding me that I forgot to do reports the day before. I may have forgotten that, too, but I had a decent day.

  I even grilled burgers and potatoes while Bay played on the first two pool steps. She didn’t go any further than that unless I was in there with her, and she didn’t even try. She was content with a plastic cup, a boat I made her with the bottom of a laundry detergent jug, and a funnel we found in the garage. She wouldn’t even go after one when it would get away from her. She whined for me to get it for her, but I wasn’t stupid. I didn’t leave her alone. Not even for a second.

  I didn’t even forget to help her with her teeth, and I gave her the vitamin before bed, deciding the night was a little less hectic than first thing in the morning. All was well on the home front. Bay was bathed, and ready to cuddle up and watch some television. I thought we’d both fall asleep at once, but then I went and mentioned the “M” word.

  “Joy’s going to get lost. She won’t be able to find her mommy.” I didn’t mean anything by it. I was only making conversation while I relished her snuggled in my arms.

  “Ma, ma, ma go?” she mumbled and slid from the couch. “Ma, ma, ma go?” she repeated and I read it loud and clear. Where did my mommy go?

  “Come here, Mommy is going to call tomorrow. Do you want daddy to sing you a song?”

  “Ma, ma, ma, go? Ma, ma, ma, go?”

  “Come here, Bay. Mommy’s not here.”

  That did it. Bay cried, but it wasn’t the bratty, give me what I want cry that got her everything she wanted. This cry was a hurt cry, one that I never wanted to hear again. Bay let me hold her, but she didn’t stop crying. She cried for her mommy while I walked around the room, rubbing her back, and humming. Her little heart was broken and it broke mine to know I couldn’t fix it. It pissed me
off is what it did. What kind of mother put their baby through something like that? She was too little. She didn’t understand. Bay cried herself to hysteria, sucking in quick puffs of air while I rocked her around the room, dancing off my feet in a bounce, trying to make her feel better. Once she asked for Phil, I knew she was about to settle down.

  Bay took him and shoved him and her arms between her body and mine, another shaky breath as her cheek rested on my shoulder. God, I loved her so much.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Bay woke right up the following morning. She slid from her bed with Phil and walked right past me. I followed as she went to every room looking for Kit. “Ma, ma, ma, go?”

  “You’re going to see Mommy when we get home from school today. She’s going to call you on the computer. Let’s go. Daddy made you a pancake.”

  “Russian.”

  “Okay, come on. You can have raisins.”

  Bay let me pick her up and I breathed a sigh of relief, happy we didn’t have a repeat of the night before. Girls were so overdramatic. Jesus. A year?

  My day at school went like it had been going. South. First, one of my female students locked all the bathroom stalls and crawled out the bottom. It happened again in the afternoon, but not one girl would fess up. I got a visit from Father Don, and had to teach a history lesson with him staring at my back.

  Just like the first time I climbed on a stage in front of a crowd, I choked, standing there looking like an idiot while I tried to remember what I was supposed to do.

  “Okay, class. We were talking about the Amazon River. What can you tell me about the Amazon River?”

  “Oh, oh,” my little decoy grunted, arm going crazy in the air.

  “Yes, Simon.”

  That’s what I did. I reverted to Harry Potter, knowing he would talk as long as I needed him to talk. I think it took about fifteen minutes for Father Don to quietly see himself out, closing the door behind him.